Peishan. Michelle. Cindy. Rachel. Huiying. Shumin. Jasmin. Leepeng. Mindy. Xintian. Chiteng. Van.

PHOTOALBUM (:

if got time.. pls try to go donate blood.

hope everyone is well.
chinese new year coming..
dont fall sick and keep spirits up. (:

maybe... maybe, meet up soon.
bye.

-peishan.

i
was
just
thinking
if
i
type
a
space
consuming
post,
we
can
spare
mindy
the
agony
of
having
her
pretty
face
covering
the
tag
board.
*beams*
miss
you
girls
-huiying-

HI! this is what the bored and jobless do at home. alright actually this was conceived during the stressed old days in october, with sm at the Benches in the Trenches. :) we were thinking if all of us were dogs, what dogs would we be.
yup, so, taking a break from being housewifely (more like odd-job labouring lahs!) i decided to go compile and dump it on our blog. i waded through seas of info and found all these... at the same site! am i efficient or what. ^_^

SO... FIRST UP, WE HAVE
MINDY LEOW


LOOKS LIKE RIGHT
SHIH TZU
show-dog! and rich ppl's dog. need i say more. :D

Character: The Shih Tzu is an independent breed that is intelligent, lovable, affectionate, sociable, and cheerful. It is not as outgoing as most breeds (raises eyebrows). It seldom barks.

Temperament: This dog always behaves with dignity (queen mindy!), and gets along with other household pets and children.

Training: This breed's somewhat obstinate nature makes consistency (heehee) essential in the training process.

OK. NOW CHITENG (this seems to be turning out to be in order of height. so shumin... heh heh)
AS...

SAINT BERNARD
big friendly giant! saint bernards save ppl freezing in the snow, like ct saves us from capping in a k. :D

Character: The St. Bernard is very friendly, good-natured (YES!), and excellent with children. It will defend you and your possessions and is intensely loyal.

Temperament: Children, other dogs, and household pets are all friends to the St. Bernard.

Training: Because they grow to such large size, young St. Bernards need to be taught not to pull on the leash. They must not be pushed too hard and require considerable understanding.

OK, SINCE THIS IS IN ORDER OF HEIGHT...
RACHEL AS

AFGHAN HOUND
i know, i know... looks scary right. believe me, this is not the worse. this dog looks so human sometimes it freaks me out. oh but it holds itself so majestically! rara's not really pretty (ok i know someone *coughs* who would deny it) but she's striking, and makes you stare. and the Ice Maiden factor. sm has some cheem chinese phrase for it, but er. anyway, you go, girlfriend! man, being a guy is so much funner. :)

Character: This dog is calm indoors, but fast and active outdoors. It is very proud, noble and intelligent.

Temperament: Males are often very dominant toward other males. Afghan Hounds are tolerant of children, provided they are not constantly pestered.

Training: Its independence makes training somewhat of a challenge. No Afghan Hound is ever completely obedient.

KK... SINCE HUIYING INSISTS SHE'S A TALL GIRL TOO... ;)

AMERICAN BULLDOG
aah, k push blame! this is from hy's favourite bus partner, sm! :p but yeah, cos she has sha1 qi4! looks scary, but when you get to know her, she's just another little girl, obsessed with old, old men AND with watching the same old, old men on vcd! but you're strong and scary still, when you're angry!

Character: The American Bulldog is powerful, confident, and agile. It is naturally alert, inquisitive and fearless.

Temperament: This breed is affectionate toward children, if taught how to properly behave around them. It can be somewhat standoffish or aggressive around strangers. Because they were originally bred to bring down bulls and other livestock, the instinct to be aggressive (haha lp wld agree?) with other animals is strong. Proper socialization is key.

Training: Training should begin as early in the American Bulldog's life as possible. It retains what it learns for a very long time.

HMM, K NOW WHO? K LAHS, I THINK MY GRANDDAUGHTER LEEPENG!

SIBERIAN HUSKY
actually i wanted to put sausage-dog, cos when i see one i just feel like laughing! :D but i couldn't find a dog sausage-y enough. heehee. the husky was supposed to be for ps (cos she likes to act cool. :p) but i found this description much more apt for lp.

Character: This dog wants to be everyone's friend, a fact that makes it a less-than-ideal watchdog. Huskies love to wander, and they are full of energy and independent.

Temperament: This dog gets along well with other Huskies, but needs to be trained carefully in order to interact with other household pets. It will not get along with cats or other small animals. Huskies have no problem with children. It is wise to have more than one Husky because they have a very hard time being left alone.

Training: Huskies will only obey commands that seem to have a point. They are very independent-minded, so handlers need to have a good understanding of their nature and considerable patience.

OK, NOW FOR MEI NU MICHELLEY!

COLLIE
i like this pic. there's a quiet regality to the collie, which reminds me of mich. she's our mediator and peace-maker, so when she's pissed at someone... the person must be incorrigible, man. the collie's a working dog, and runs a lot, like mich the energiser battery!

Character: The Collie is mild-mannered, gentle, and eager to work. Occasionally it can be a bit stubborn.

Temperament: This breed is good with children, and if properly socialized it gets along well with other household pets.

Training: Collies are sensitive to the tone of the trainer's voice, so best results are achieved through positive reinforcement.

ALRIGHT, BEFORE PEISHAN STARTS POUTING ABOUT BEING RELEGATED TO THE SHORTIES SECTION...


THE STANCE!

PIT BULL TERRIER
erm, i think you need a license in singapore to own this dog, cos it's dangerous. :D but hey, the stance looks like right. ah shan's always so prickly, and prone to violence (right, mindy?!) but we know, like a roasted marshmallow inside. same colour summore! hahahah

Character: This dog is loyal, tough on itself (!!!), and tenacious. It makes a good watchdog, has lots of stamina, and can be domineering over other dogs.

Temperament: Provided proper socialization has taken place, this breed gets along fine with cats or other household pets. It makes a good family dog as long as the family can handle its boisterousness. It will protect your home, and it may be eager to fight other dogs.

OH I'M GOING CROSS EYED... NEXT, JASMIN

CHINESE CRESTED
wow, this is the most unbelievable dog i've ever seen; it's as startling as jas' scary outbursts!plus it shares jas' wayang make-up ritual before trainings, after which she'll sweat milk. :D

Character: Although cautious of people they do not know, they are playful, sensitive, and high-spirited.

Temperament: This dog gets along well with children (provided they do not disturb it in its own territory), other dogs, and any household pets.

Care: The skin must be cared for with lotion and exfoliating creams. The hairless variety must kept out of the sun or protected by sunscreen. The Powder Puff must be brushed occasionally and washed often.

Training: The Chinese Crested's intelligence makes it easy to train.

ALLLRIGHT, NOW FOR MY INDEFATIGUABLE PARTNER, TSIN LI!

SILKY TERRIER
i think it's the eyes. but i rmb when cindy 1st became QM, she was super hyper and wldnt stop running all over the place during trngs (mbe tt's when her running became so zai :D). yup. i once had a silky terrier (for 3 days) and it behaved just like that. hahaha

Character: This dog is upbeat, lively, intelligent, loyal, and surprisingly protective.

Temperament: Silky Terriers need to get used to cats when young to avoid chasing them later on. Normally they are very affectionate with children. They will bark when visitors arrive.

Training: The intelligence of this breed makes training fairly easy.

OK... NOW FOR THE INCARCERATED VANESSA WHO(YAY!) WILL BE RELEASED ON PAROLE TMR...

JACK RUSSELL TERRIER
the mask's dog! small, wiry, hyperactive and strong! and our dear vanny will be even stronger after army!

Character: This breed is perky, loving, energetic and fearless. Enjoys playing with toys. Intelligent. Can be willful.

Temperament: This breed can be aggressive toward other dogs. Need to be socialized at an early age. Generally kind to children. Children need to be taught not to tease or strike the dog.

Training: Can be somewhat difficult to train. Best if trained by firm, experienced trainer.

LAST, BUT NOT LEAST (OTHER THAN IN TERMS OF SIZE)... SHUMIN!

CHIHUAHUA
one kick sure die! hahaha... kidding! but hey, chihuahuas are qt scary too... like hy's girlgirl. :p the description's qt accurate too. being small has its advantages too, which mandy exploits to the fullest! :)

Character: These dogs are intelligent and sometimes too brave for their own good. They usually bond with only one person.

Temperament: Living with other dogs and cats is usually not a problem. Small children may regard the dog as a toy.

Training: Although they are usually not trained because of their small size,(hahaha. creatine girl!) Chihuahuas are eager to learn.

Leepeng is at my house now destroying my hair.
i have just destroyed hers.
so when you all see us on tuesday, dun comment if it turns out bad okay?
thank you (:

anw leepeng got work on tuesday la. so smart right.
she ask if we can go out later the day?
aiya let's just heck her la.
wahahahahas.
rainy days.

tsk. hope everyone is well?
-huiying-

Today, xt, mich and me went to run the half marathon in school tgt with the DSA people and 2 IPs. 53 rounds in all while a CD of inspirational songs played on repeat through the grand stand's speakers. It was quite fun.. uh at least at the front part, with juniors handing out ice-cold hundred plus and later at some point, bananas.. which made us look like monkeys when we eat and run at the same time. so.. lalala~ then at around the 10+ round, suddenly i noticed mich hobbling and xt asked her what's wrong. Turned out that her left foot's arthritis(?) tendon was hurting, perhaps due to the fact that she ran a half marathon just 2 days ago.

xt: michelle! stop at the end of this round!
mich: nvm lah, i'll stop at the 25th round.

When we finished the 25th round, mich being mich...

me: michelle! STOP!
mich: nvm lah, i can one! see? i can run without landing on my heels! (hobble hobble..)

xt tried to push her out of the group but mich pushed her way back. xt and i could only look at each other and sigh in resignation.. and mich the woman of iron will hobbled her way through the next 30+ rounds.

The weather was pretty kind to us initially but kept raining on and off. There was a time when the drinks station people rushed to pass umbrellas to us but after running one round, the rain stopped. Later when it rained more heavily, we ran around the LT-library-Bytz there, then went back to the track again when the rain stopped.

When we finished running and warm-down, mich said the most important sentence of the day:

"LET'S GO TO ISLAND CREAMERY!"

Took a bus and alighted at the bus stop opposite Coro. We were happily chatting and talking. Suddenly...

xt: eh, i think you two forgot to tap your cards.
mich & me: (look at each other) AARRGGHH!!!!! (turn to look at xt) why didn't you tell us earlier?!
xt: er, i used coins mah.

sobs.. $1.80 for 2 stops... anyway, we asked jasmin to join us but she couldn't, so we went ahead without her.

At Island Creamery, mich ordered a scoop of Coconut Swirl while xt and i ordered a chocolate mudpie. While we were eating, natalie and huijun approached us awkwardly to borrow money to buy macs fillet-o-fish meal for mr yong, cos they didn't bring enough money with them. -_-"' After talking to them more, we found out that after debrief (we siam-ed off to island creamery just when they gathered for debrief), he continued to run another marathon and hence cancelled celebrating his wife's birthday with her. We being normal females, were totally shocked at this.

mich: wah, tai4 guo4 fen4 le3...
xt: how could he? wedding anniversary and birthdays are the most important lah! He don't want celebrate his own birthday, fine. But his wife's leh? Once a year only lah..
me: i think he go home die le. If it were me, this would almost be grounds for divorce lah.

So much for the brief exclamation. We decided that one round of ice-cream was not shiok enough and so we shared 2 more scoops of ice-cream (teh tarik and soursop). The flavours were mild but very real. Don't really know how to describe.. our miserable attempts all end up very "duh!".. something like this:

xt (after trying horlicks flavour): "tastes like horlicks."

Yup, you get the idea. :)

As we walked towards the bus stop on our way home, don't know how but xt and i started trying to teach mich how to scream. Damn hilarious. mich had a good time laughing at us two siao-cha-bors but she was rather embarrassed like a mum with 2 uncontrollable kids as passers-by carefully averted their gazes away from us :p

Screaming lesson, anyone? ;p

-shumin-

WARNING: long entry ahead. for the bored n jobless (great!) Take ur time to read. Hah :)

Heyy my dearest dearest girls

Rach here. Hmm I dono why im suddenly doing this.. maybe cuz im feeling abit pensive now.. or maybe juz cuz I feel strangely compelled to do something abt it.. ha. Remember those experiences n reflections u all wrote? They are all with me. Was reading it n I juz feel so.. I dono how to describe it.

Its like there are some things I dont even seem to remember till I start reading n feel the raging passions of that very moment.. n then I start wondering how ever could I have forgotten something as beautifully painful as it. Its like these certain defining moments that you knew deep inside you that could break or make you.. n to think yea 2years have come by. Its like u know, some parts are even warped n amusing to read now. Ha.. (dont feel embarrassed!) I realized though things may feel different now, these were true genuine feelings that we once penned down. Yes believe it girls.

Well for me, I always remember 2005 together with 2004 because njcanoe was where I scripted sucha major chapter of my youth, along with all of u.

I hope u all would not mind- Just wanted to let u girls read them for yourselves.. maybe theyll tear open healing wounds.. or unravel some hazy memory seemingly long forgotten.. or even ice numbed spots further.. Perhaps for each of u reading it will engender a different feeling.. Have an open mind as u read them. There were sweet moments really, just buried deeply. And altogether, it felt familiarly warm.. cuz I remembered- There were real pain, real tears, real fight, real courage.. real heart.

I guess as brand new 2006 starts.. its nice to recall how e past yr had been- some sweet/painful moments that we all had TOGETHER because we were a team. And because we always will be one.. no matter what happened, is happening or will happen.

In mindy s words - I love my team.

I really do.

-rachel

VAN-

Lets start with OpenDay2003. I came to NJ not knowing wad to expect. Then yihui persuaded me to start training w them.. honestly didnt know that by agreeing, Id be making the best decision of my life. This team has been my ROCK..It seems weird now not coming for morning trg at 650, having wed n sat free.. not sleeping at 10pm anymore ( haha van, u really slept at 10pm meh?!).. I feel like an empty shell..

Derwin told me tt canoeing is like a relationship-when the time comes u have to let go no matter how much it hurts.. being in the team has truly changed me. I never thought Id be able to do pullups (like real van! Ure sooo damn gd at it la! :P ), run fast. Ive really become stronger and this is only the physical aspect. Mentally ive learnt to push on no matter how hard it is.. never giving up, finding new barriers of pain which I wld then surpass.

But if u think all was smooth sailing, ure wrong. In feb, I was taken out of ballgames cos of a badly strained shoulder ligament n was out of action for more than a wk. That, in my opinion, marked wad was to be a yr of serious BAD LUCK for me. I sprained ankle after ankle (they took turns to sprain), had shin splints, problems in my fibula.. had my 1^st high fever in 3yrs.. it went crazy. The ill luck didnt stop till april this yr, after I was hospitalized for some bladder thingy.. but uknow wad? Not ONCE did I regret joining the team. It was thru these injuries tt I emerged mentally tougher. I mean ive been to e hospital these 2years more times than ive been in my whole life BUT well what doesnt kill u makes u stronger.. it was thru these adverse times tt I saw how much e team cared for me. Like when I sprained my ankle during SWIFT run, Audrey nv gave up on me.. n everyone was rushin ard tendin to me. If theres 1thing im truly grateful for, its the friendship tt ive forged w every single person in e team. ...Ive learnt tt theres MORE to life than just winning races/doing well in studies. Its abt humanity. Trust faith compassion courage HEART. Nv will I forget these 2yrs..its been so special. Think nothing can ever replace this amazing experience.

They say -lead another life, join njcanoe. This cant be more true. Canoeing has completely changed me.. n despite all the conflicts, squabbles n tears, ive pulled thru. NO wait, WE VE pulled thru.

I think dragonboat is definitely the most significant part of my time in e team esp SDBF 2005 n Regatta2004. Pulling together as a team, feeling e boat SURGE cos of the concerted effort of everyone, makin sure tt no one is left behind, weak or strong.. Remember- courage perseverance n heart, thats all u need.

CHITENG-

Hmm Im one of those few who stayed in e team abit longer than e rest. I didnt know what to expect when I joined e team but I nv regret joinin this team. I really cherish e times I spent w the team. ..When I first joined, my fitness is not gd as I had not trained for months. Trgs were extremely tough. Each trg we wld do at least 12km w/o stopping at all. It was really tough for me at tt pt of time. I still rmb I told LP tt I wld not mind not being able to make it to nj. But im really glad I did.. cos of all the encouragements e snrs n teammates had given me tt gave me strength to push on, to go beyong my limits. I really learned alot thru this incident - not to give up no matter how difficult times were n tt encouragements are really magical such tt it may decide if someone shld carry on or not.

CINDY-

Each of us has a fire in our hearts for something.. find it n with the passion, live with a purpose. Njcanoe taught me more than just canoeing. I learn how to see life in a more serious way n to reflect upon encounters to see meaning in them.

5dec2004. mryong ran the standchart marathon. Team was stationed at various pts of the route to witness this event. The Kenyan runners were fast like e wind. As my checkpt is both the to and return route, I saw them take a v short time to complete most of e dist. I respect their hard work n talent. However wad inspired me the most is not them but the less talented runners who took up the challenge of completing a marathon courageously. True spirit of an athlete, endure pain, fight negative thoughts, complete what uve set out to achieve. Also, as a supporter, I learnt tt even if u are repeating words of encouragement or by clapping to cheer them, u may have done it a hundred times, but it is the 1^st time they hear it. I ll cherish every chance to help others in future.

26dec2004. mryong s ultramarathon. Tt day, I witnessed the power of endurance. He completed 9rounds of northern route non-stop running. My respect for mryong rose a higher level.. when I ran in e forest, I felt something special. Why do runners run at MacRitchie? They do it for those who have done it , for those who survived the trails n overcome the obstacles, leaving part of their spirits, heart n passion to become part of the forest. That, future runners could draw strength from. Just like canoeing at kallang, when we row with our hearts. Feeling the waters, respecting the sacredness, think of how our snrs fought n how we ve drawn strength from memories n fought against e odds. It became special.

JASMIN-

This canoeing journey has been a really memorable one to me. Everything just seems to pass by in a twinkling of an eye n I urge all of u to cherish each n every trg even though they may get monotonous at times. Pull hard in every stroke, as though its the last time ull get to row, becos before u know it, ull be rowing ur last few strokes. There were periods of ups n downs. But ofcos, it is the sufferings tt make success possible n sweet. In fact, I wld say tt it is the down periods tt I really rmb vividly. When I fell sick for 3wks plus, I had difficulty breathing during trg n it was a truly humbling experience. Self-doubts inevitably clouded my mind as my partner rach n I wld lag in most of e pacing sets. N it was my fellow teammates support n encouragement tt enabled me to pull thru tt painful period. Nv lose faith in urself, becos u are stronger n braver than u think u are. There is no I in TEAM.

SHUMIN-

Faith makes all things possible. I should know, cos ive benefited from the faith that others put in me. I was constantly haunted by self-doubt, lost count of the number of times when I felt hopeless n thought tt I ll nv be able to make it. But becos I always had ppl supporting n believing in me, I found the strength to pick myself up each time, cos I knew that I ll be letting all these ppl down if I gave up on myself when they nv did give up on me. A vote of confidence can carry a person thru his/her weakest moments becos u find the faith in yourself when those around u put their faith in u. hence, always believe in everyone no matter how little potential he/she appears to have, for miracles do happen. Realistically, the hierarchy of ability will always exist everywhere. However each of us is an unique individual n we shld nv look upon another person n judge him/her by the amt of tangible worth of performance, but as a fellow human, teammate or friend. From here we ll be able to respect n treat everyone equally, to treasure n cherish everyone. Truly, TEAM means Together Everyone Achieves More. When we stand united as a team, there are no obstacles too difficult to conquer. N at the end of the day, we leave the team bringing w us not e medals but the values learnt, the friendhips forged n all the special moments n bittersweet moments. No matter how far apart our future paths may be, deep down in our hearts, we know we re bonded as njcanoeists. Forever.

(wow, shumin...)

LEEPENG-

I rmb my 1^st partner was Yangyan n surprisingly we were partners for 6mths. In e team, its really smth to be proud of if u get to row w the same partner for more than a mth. Unfortunately we didnt row together for nats. My partner was michelle koh. As e only jr pair for nats, our snrs did help us a lot n gave us alot of encouragement. Hmmm I wld like to take this opportunity to apologise to mich for my bad temper n impatience. Dui bui qi, xin ku ni le!

After nats, I was assigned to k1. kinda nervous when I knew abt it. Hyperventilating, capsizing.. after all the encouragements by my teammates, I still cant overcome tt barrier. Im too dependent on ppl which I noe its v selfish of me to do so. But the period in k1 made me feel closer to other ppl in e team as well. I wana say a big thank u to peishan,mich,cindy,rach. Thanks to ps n mich for always being there for me, picking me up whenever I was down. Thanks to cindy for all e runs n encouragement n pushing.. rach for e emotional support.

It was only in mar tt I was pushed back to k2. life in k2 wasnt easy at all. My 1^st partner was cindy. I rmb those times when we have to chase xt n deb. But I guess during tt period we improved a lot rite? N we were closer too. Unfortunately it didnt last long b4 I was assigned to row w van. We met alot of problems too. Like coordination n endurance. But glad we improved too!

Of all the races, e most memorable one will definitely be SDBF. I rmb seeing e guys team surrounded in a circle n I was thinking, after so long, after all odds, they are going to do it as a team. Girls boat A and B sat tog n reflected on what they felt before e race. Thought we re separated into 2boats, we know we are still e girls team n we row for e same purpose. 1 team,1 spirit. We promised to row e race of our lives. We teared before going to e startline. No matter wad, I will not forget tt eventful day.

MINDY-

During the Ngee Ann Poly Duathlon, I rmb running the 5k race all by myself. No one was beside me, I cld only see e backviews of the other competitors drifting further away from me. I was beginning to feel extremely exhausted n tired after e turn n wanted to give up. I looked behind n saw my teammate who was clearly struggling her way to the turn. Suddenly I realise tt I have to remove all negative thoughts n carry on running despite the pain. I cannot let my teammates down, esp my partner who was waiting at e finish line for me. Peishan s words came into my mind -Pain is good.

The rain started pouring, I was reaching e finish line, suddenly I saw mryong cheering for me, somehow tt brought a sudden spark, n I started sprinting towards my partner despite my exhaustion. Though I didnt come in 1^st, 2^nd or 3^rd, I felt extremely satisfied becos I had defeated myself. N im so happy I didnt give in to pain then. Pain is temporary, but glory is forever. Indeed, how true can it get.

Anything tt doesnt kill u make u STRONGER.

HUIYING-

Experience? Canoeing has taught me a lot n changed me. When I first joined I didnt know what to expect. (hah after typing this so many times, I realise everyone of us came in not knowing WHAT TO EXPECT. Funny huh. But how true. How cld we haf expected ALL OF THESE 2yrs). I joined cuz my cedar snrs persuaded me to try canoe, telling me its an experience of a lifetime. I still rmb our ex-captain sofia taking a T1 w me. I cant even go straight! (oh man, how far u ve come hy! :P) I rmb fondly how she screamed at my direction. These struggling times when I started out still remain in my heart. N all e times when we sprint in T1s at e suspension bridge, I still rmb I will lag behind. I will watch van sprint off while I struggle to keep my T1 straight behind. U see, not everyone start off well. I was weak n slow but my snrs nv gave up on me. Tt was when I learnt to struggle n suffer n work hard. I learnt how to be a determined fighter n not give up. I begin to experience smth I have nv experienced in my previous cca- a meaningful n purposeful rowing experience! We dont juz do things for the sake of doing, there is a reason for everything. I struggled w many things- studies, canoeing, ministry in church etc etc. but I had my teammates w me. Peishan,rach,mindy,tsinli,mich,chit,leepeng,van,shumin,xintian,jasmin. It is amazing how these ppl touched n changed my life. I constantly thank God for ppl like them. Cherish them. I wish for the friendship to last forever. (me too,hy! Really.) Embrace pain, fight your best.

This year nats has been a humbling experience. Racing w pneumonia has taught me a lot. Humility. Do not take things for granted. Anything can happen. I am thankful tt no matter what happens, my teammates will be there for me.

MICHELLE-

(Mich s is really really long, n more of like advice/instructions for e jrs. So I put in point form k?)

- balance in k1 (w/o seat makes things worse ultimately..)

- pacing during mileage (to improve, faster boats shld push pace n maintain half boat length s pace..)

- attitude ( dont repeat mistakes of exco/snrs..)

- attitude ( be patient w urself. U may work v hard but see no results but great things do happen. They really do..)

- attitude (team before self. Little acts count as much as big actions..) (weakest member to be as strong as strongest..)

-health ( multivits, self discipline, hyperventilation..)

PEISHAN-

One of my most memorable experiences has to be when I was made captain. Almost 1yr ago, my name was announced to be e captain of e girls team. As much as everyone at tt time, snrs n jrs alike all sayin tt I wld be captain, it didnt really get into my head. So tt day came as a total shock. I rmb it so clearly.. me n mich just being so dumbfounded e whole day. Even as we went home, there was juz silence betw us as both of us were in a daze. I wld always rmb tt day for it really gave me e experience of my life, which it wld really make so much a difference in my life for this one whole yr. w the whole girls team for u to lead, e responsibility is huge n stressful. The next day, though e newly formed exco came early to ensure trg went smoothly, we were whacked harshly by myyong. It almost made me feel useless. He kept talking abt e snrs n sofia. It made me lose confidence of myself n I felt dejected n displaced, like im living under sofia s shadow. I guess during tt time I must have thot so negatively of things, I felt it was kinda wrong. But tt didnt make me falter, cos e v next day, I told myself I wanted to be e best captain I could be, and better.

Another experience of mine-changing of partners. the 1^st change of lineup came n me n jasmin were e 1^st to be changed. It really was a huge impact to us. Becos we really felt for one another, being in e same boat. Esp when we had to climb from scratch, where neither of us rowed a K before, unlike e other boats who at least had some form of experience. Our boat rocked like hell, but tt didnt stop us cos we just overcame all e rocking w more hardwork to overcome e extra resistance from e rocking n unbalance. Then mryong changed parings. It was really painful. I didnt want to show it but it really hurt v badly. Jas being emotional, was v down. Its like when we come down for morning water trgs, seeing her eyes all puffy n swollen, u wld actually know she cried e night away. N it was not just 1 night. I didnt dare look at her in e eye. We didnt even talk, becos talking abt it I guess only makes it more painful. As a team, on e whole, e girls team took all e numerous changes v hard. Sometimes even totally losing all morale. Tears were shed (jas, mich, rach, leepeng n many more) I guess it reached a pt where everyone was v negative. At tt time, being e 1^st to get hit, I cld really understand yet at e same time I know why we had to do it. N being capt, breakin e news to them on a new set of changes really..was damn hard n heartpain.. to tell them, to see their expressions. That was when the orange t-shirt thing came abt, after thinking v hard at night to try to boost e team morale.

Another experience was…feeling strongly for my teammates. I guess im a person who doesnt really show my true feelings on e surface. Though I care, I couldnt express it well. Many times, I was torn betw being harsh n being nice, torn betw being serious n in a less serious mood. N many times, I scold, I was harsh.. it was all really becos I really cared. I guess e only time I showed my feelings on e surface was when my teammates fell ill. Then I expose it all.. an exception has to be leepeng though, I was rather strict w her, as in when she hypervent, I wld still push her. I guess cos knowin shes someone who is fearful, I wanted her to be independent n overcome it herself. Im glad she became stronger, though I must say at times it makes me..wonder whether shld i.. the times when Audrey fell sick though her case is qt usual, every experience makes my heart hurt. The time when joy hyperventilated so badly she holding on to my singlet so tightly n also almost breaking my finger.. just seeing her like tt really just breaks my heart. She clinging so tightly to just someone? N it was me.. I tried to hold her tighter to calm her down but nothing helped. The time when mindy hypervent, I guess I just broke down for awhile. Cried..on the spot, but braced myself later on. Its just.. feeling so much for them. Esp, when two of my t1 girls(yeah, MY) became like tt. I really regret pushin her tt hard as usually I wont be e one pushin e pace. But tt day I really pushed e pace hard for all3. then constance, yea, I also dontknow how to describe how I feel. Just yea..heartpain. when everyone came into e picture, I tried to fade into e backgrd as I didnt want my feelings to be known. I was so worried she wld be sent to hospital. I guess she really totally exhausted herself. W meishan as eg too..falling sick for so long n blacking out in sch. Ah I dontknow. I guess feeling strongly for ppl..does hurt a lot. Yet its hard for me to show it.. I guess I didnt expect myself to be like tt. Nv cried since p6..but canoeing just..changed that. What I want to say is, what makes a team is really feeling for one another. That closeness is something.. Beautiful and Precious.

RACHEL-

For all e things ive discovered n learnt, pain brought me there. This njcanoe journey has been dominated by so much pain. Physical pain n exhaustion.. each time e pain grew overbearing, threatening to seize my will.. all my K1 mileage n sprint trgs, tt 1 particular land trg doing dips (!).. I realized tt sometimes, its only at your most exhausted form do u do extraordinary things - u push beyond urself. You really can. Its magical.. how ur mind battles e pain n how u search deep within urself to give more. I felt the greatest pain come when I had e greatest desire. Desire gave me reason.. to go beyond myself. Yet, this pain is secondary.

The pain of disappointment, of deep regret is just.. so much stronger. Disappointing myself..yea when I felt like perhaps I cld haf given more? Yet I cld nv have trudged back. The path was forward n e baggage was disheartening. Yet again, this disappointment w myself pales in comparison to the indescribable pain of failing a friend. Disappointing my teammates, my captains, disappointing those who put faith in me. Seeing tt expression tt said-ah, nevermind. Yet knowing tt deep down, I have hurt her, tt I am truly just not gd enough. Yea.. this pain of disappointment is akin to the pain of defeat. Both gave me true lessons of humility.. of stepping forward even when e baggage was heavy.

Pain also set in when I was clouded by self doubt and yea, e pain of demoralization. U know, like- bubble burst? I rmb tt period when trg venue just moved to Mac n I had to miss 50% of water trgs every wk. unsurprisingly, I lagged in every single trg, every single set. Nothing cld describe tt sort of helplessness when chasing became a routine. I grew distant from my teammates, the pillars of my journey all this while. Things became negative n my heart grew so..cold. yea but it was thru this immense pain tt I understood I didnt know how to give up. It was not me. There was no way to. Pain is difficult but I guess it does bring out something special in u.

Yea thru it all, I have to say the greatest greatest pain of all is seeing n knowing ur teammate is in pain. It hurt most..seeing e faces ive come to be so familiar w, scarred by dejection. .those uncontrollable tears. I wished I cld take their pain away. Those moments of crying together, of being there for each other, made me realise how much I love my teammates, our TEAM. They mean so much to me. Seeing my captains often plagued by worry for e team, hurt tremendously too. This hurt always grew into respect, knowing how much selfless pain they went thru slogging for e team. I came to realise how much I treasure my captains.

Yea I guess njcanoe held moments when ive fallen e hardest n grew e strongest. The low points were so unforgettable. how will u know wad it is the greatest of happiness when u havent tasted e deepest of pain? we have all fallen, one time or another, but together, we made it thru. Sweet are e memories now, recalling e many bitter moments. Sweet are e memories now, knowing we did it as one.

XINTIAN-

Time, esp time spent purposefully, really flies. A year ago when e snrs left, I thought I wasnt ready n wld nv be ready to be a snr. I was still young! How could I help others when I still needed help myself?! We floundered n struggled for many mths, n during tt time I aged tremendously, n changed irrevocably. N all tt I learnt, I learnt thru pain. Just as damage stimulates e growth of muscles, adversity steels e human will n strengthens e spirit. Sometimes u feel as though ur body cld not possibly bear e pain any longer but u dont give up becos u know tt e pain is temporary, but e shame of giving up is eternal. U wld have let urself down, becos no excuse is gd enough n u cannot let urself stop rowing unless u faint dead into e water. Only if u persevere can u savour e satisfaction tt follows after u have triumphed over pain n fear. The battle may be yours to fight, but as one u are weak, as many u are strong, n e reason u can win is becos ur teammates are beside u, n in our team no one gets left behind even when they re down. Michelle once told me tt being loved deeply gives one strength, loving someone deeply gives one courage. Here we see our teammates everyday, sometimes to e exclusion of almost anyone outside of canoeing. The bond we share is more than just tt of colleagues or friends. Our teammates have not only seen us laugh, they ve seen us cry. They ve not only rejoiced in our success, they ve grieved for our defeat. They ve seen e good, n the bad side of us. he is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.-jim eliot. At the end of 2yrs, it is family we gain, not glories or medals. I came, thinking I wld learn independence having to race alone, but instead was taught, tt I would never have to be alone.

In shumin s words,

No matter how far apart our future paths may be,

deep down in our hearts, we know we are bonded as a team.

a family of 12. Forever.

Happy 2006, girls :)

love,rachel!